May 2013
1 post
Magic Art Print by Jaco Haasbroek →
December 2011
1 post
Dramatic Irony
Just when I think I will stop bleeding all over everything, I see him driving down State Street while I’m inside the pizza place with friends, and it all rushes back. The “what ifs”, the “whys?”, and what happened between him and me. Sure this too shall pass, but its taking fucking forever. Why did seven months do so much damage? How could I have been so reckless? Was...
October 2011
4 posts
Sweet Sweet Hearkiller
I was not made to be a mother.
I had too stricken a heart, so I wore red shoes to stay apart.
Where did you take me that night so black & still?
He had a badge and a gun, and somewhere, even, had a wife.
He took my face & tore my hips and planted in their place something new and strange and near to love.
A Heart is Stone
Things I learned this week:
•I can impress with my music taste.
•I have a sense of humour. Wait, I think I already knew that…
•I don’t need to try & impress anyone, yet I’m going to keep trying anyway.
•I can “crush” certain people just by leaving.
•Just because I’m advanced in every other department doesn’t mean I have to be advanced in the...
“When relationships become a ledger of profit & loss you have no friends, no...”
– The voice of John Teller, Sons of Anarchy
My, How it Comes
“There are other things that have happened, things I never wanted to think or write about because I was afraid of being rash, in case everything straightened itself out. It might still. I could ring, send a text, but they seem such poor approximations of communication. If I can’t sort out what’s in this head, how can I put it into intelligible sentences?”
September 2011
3 posts
2 tags
2 tags
beanadult:
Remember. It could be worse. And it’s rarely as bad as you believe it to be.
Unless, of course, you’re being chased by a dinosaur. It doesn’t really get any worse than that.
Photo via Smile Inducers.
1 tag
“Don’t get in a relationship if you’re going to leave a man if he cheats on you....”
– The-Dream keeps it really real. (via pitchfork)
August 2011
18 posts
1 tag
Shiny Diamonds
“There is a look little girls have who are adored by their fathers, it’s that facial expression of being totally impervious to the badness of the world. If they can keep that look into their twenties, they’re pretty much okay, they’ve got a force field around them.”
I think I’ve always known about the bad things.
All the Pretty Ones
It was the beginning of the year 2008, when I noticed J.H. again. I had always seen him walking the terminals when I was working in the newsstands yet I didn’t think anything of him at the time. I recall a wedding band on his left hand and until last year when I was staring into the hallway watching him walk by as he smiled at me; I wondered what happened to it. I can’t remember the first exchange...
Posture, Etc.
I can now attempt to tell the stories of my true yet honorably and brutally unnerving relationships. I had been working at the airport for almost two years when a police officer just happened to smile and take notice of me. His name was Troy and although I had a little crush on him, it was another police officer he was usually with, E____ that took the greatest interest in me. I recall one summer...
Shakes Her Shoulders
I was two weeks shy of my 17th birthday. I was somewhat forced that summer to look for a job. I had no car and wasn’t to be trusted taking the bus since it lead me months earlier to an after school detour that resulted in a purchase of two boxes of sleeping pills. I ended up in the hospital shortly after feeling a lot of ambivalence and my mother seething with resentment and her own confusion. I...
We Lost the Albatross
It started when I was 14. I would creep down the hallway with expectancy. Past conference rooms and cubicles until I found him, sitting quietly at his desk, mulling over papers or conversing over the phone with business in California or his wife. He would look up at me with an expression I would think at the time as annoyance mixed with forced indulgence of this teenage girl but would later find...
Little Children -Tom Perrotta
You lie.
It is ridiculous to be at war with your own desires.
But we want what we want.
We both smile politely to mask a
familiar feeling of desperation.
Perhaps you can blame it on a moment of weakness.
As I experience an unexpected pang of sadness as you leave.
After all what is adult life
but one moment of weakness piled on top of another?
Most people just fall in line like obedient...
Um, uh oh.
“But before her, I wanted you.”
I’m thinking “What do you want me to say to that,” but instead I just exited out of my gmail chat.
See the e-mail below…
“Drink up young man, it will make the whole seduction part less repugnant.”
– Clementine -Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
“There’s not a lot that I am good at. But I’m good at getting guys to...”
– Rose Lorkowski -Sunshine Cleaning (2008)
Back Before We Were Brittle
I’ll love you when you grow up,
till then I will consider the possibility that I will miss all
the childish things about you.
How you don’t return my phone calls,
How you say you hate flowers and don’t like to eat vegetables,
But mostly I will miss the innocence in your eyes.
You’ve kissed one girl and will probably go through college
never having sex,
with women this is virtue and purity,...
Apples for the Innocent
I don’t know it yet that I will be okay with out him.
I don’t want some fucking cop to be the reason I’m jaded forever about relationships. Fuck him for not knowing what he wanted and dragging me into it. Fuck him for getting my hopes up and fuck him for making my hopes useless. Fuck me for getting into these situations and not knowing any better. Fuck me for not having more realistic hopes to...
Toil and Trouble
Winter 2007… I was staring out into the hallway, bored and in solitary when he walked by. I would always pay attention to the police officers but for some reason he didn’t look familiar. He smiled at me, in a very coy way and I’m sure I blushed. He had this strut, attributed to the equipment on his belt and I remember looking after him and wondering already when I would see him again. It was the...
“When people want to insult a woman, they say she’s chubby, slutty, and/or...”
– Diablo Cody aka Brook Busey
July 2011
1 post
Recalcitrant Lovers
And I became a firework waiting to happen.
When you’re with someone tumultuously for a period of 7 months and you work with them, you come to know their schedule very well.
He wished me a ”Happy Birthday” and said he would bring my key back. A month later, still no key and a right assumption of his cowardice. So I boldly went to the market where I knew he was working his...
